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The Battle of Helm's Deep has ended ...


lizard44
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hi sis Justiana,

it was such an irony that you asked me to post.

how's your battle march on Gondor ... i hope all is well.

the battle of helm's deep has ended. the fate of king of pork man is sealed. he has fallen. his great army of near 20,000 men was routed. the orcs had overrun helm's deep. helm's deep was no longer in the hands of the great king of pork man. as the king drew his last brealth ... he recalled vividly scene by scene ... his passage to kingship and the things that had brought about his downfall ...

he had fallen not by any might of men, orcs or arch-angels, but by the one and only gal he loved ... such irony indeed ...

the king did asked for help but in the end, his trust was misplaced. the white wizard, MIN, promised to bring in reinforcements from rohan on the 3rd day of the siege of helm's deep. his words were not to be trusted. the white wizard only minded his fish tank and nothing else. what a fool i was in trusting him ...

PATRICK123, the great dwarf king, where the king of pork man drew great friendship, was once asked to help. but, he too, spent his time trying to pretend he was taller than a common dwarf in minas tirith.

PIGLET, the sooth-sayer did turn up at the crucial moments of the failing battle. instead of bring along his conjuring images of angels and elfs, he brought instead his RA21 pictures of n*ked AV women. how on middle earth was he going to perform his magic with so much distractions.

HERMIT was worst. he forgotten that he was a hermit and not a cockle.

when the battle of helm's deep was at its most crucial stages of breaching its own defence by the orcs. WEISOON, the eagle was recalled and sent home and got grounded by his queen, saying that he should not associate himself with pork. :(

with such ill-gotten friends, the king of pork man had no choice but to admit that it was fate ... fate that sealed his destiny ... fate that consumed him fully. sigh ...

he remembered once upon a younger days in middle earth ...

he was only a peasant in minas tirith serving the dwarfs. but, he worked hard and long. he managed to take over his dad's pork joint and expanded it to many pork joints within the dwarf country. soon, an association of pork men was formed. with his glib tongue, he was voted as the head hongcho of the association. under his leadership, the association grew tremendously.

his ascension to kinghood was fast and furious ...

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when the battle of helm's deep was at its most crucial stages of breaching its own defence by the orcs. WEISOON, the eagle was recalled and sent home and got grounded by his queen, saying that he should not associate himself with pork. :(

Wahahahaha....nearly fell off the chair after reading. Good one Lizard.

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Wow...a bit "chim" for me. Can rewrite in Singlish or not. :lol:

By simple SingLish

patrick123 was a man of MIRAGE.

He spent every evening 5 PM @ MIRAGE, b4 traffic started ( gee this guy damn rich man )

Reach home 10PM and told his wife that he was so tired as so many work in the office.

Weekend , he told his wife that need to entertain the CUSTOMERS, so.....

end up MIRAGE..... or ...... ROYAL PACIFIC :)

this is how understand huh , just translated, contents is provided by Lizard44. If anything worng in this translation, I hold NO responsible :) hee heee

Life is like a peice of Uncured Live Rock [ from LFS ], you never know what you gonna get.........

Ocean Gump

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JE, actually seldom fall off chair judging by the type of topics people post here(most of the time serious topics). If you look/read long enough in this Kopi Tiam, you will know what I meant. But really, I must say Lizard is really talented to be able to come up with the characters associated with this ' saga '. :bow:

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JE, actually seldom fall off chair judging by the type of topics people post here(most of the time serious topics). If you look/read long enough in this Kopi Tiam, you will know what I meant. But really, I must say Lizard is really talented to be able to come up with the characters associated with this ' saga '. :bow:

:lol::D:P I'm just joking when i ask how many times must u fall off ur chair.

I know there r alot of serious discussions in koiptiam.

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hi PIGLET,

for once you are effectively conjuring the right images ... sigh ... but, it was too late. helm's deep will not be the same without you.

...

the pork-making skill that the peasant king learnt from his father was a common skill; which was passed down from his father before him, who also learnt the skill from the father before him.

the common skill did not make him into a king. it was his burning passion that he does not wish to end his life as a peasant that he embarked on a journey. a journey that would bring forth the final mastery of pork-making.

he slogged day and night. he finally chanced upon an idea that he could create pork out of nothing. of course, this is another story that detailed how he met PIGLET and how he borrowed PIGLET's tail as a catalyst to his unusual experiment.

soon, his pork-making skill was known throughout the middle earth and every pork-seller in minas tirith approached him for training. he merrily imparted his skills to the rest of his countrymen. he was hailed as the saviour of the pork industry and conferred the position of the pork-seller alliance's head hongcho.

this did not go down well with PATRICK123, the dwarf king. PATRICK ordered the alliance to be expelled from minas tirith and never to return.

the peasant king wept on national TV when he declared the formation of the kingdom of pork man and the pork men proclaimed the peasant - the king of pork man.

as the land was insufficient. the pork king led an invasion on helm's deep and managed to annex it into the controls of the kingdom.

shortly after, the needs of the kingdom grew in leaps and bounds. the time has come for the king to go back to school and research again the ultimate art of pork making.

he applied to hogwarts - the elite school of pigs. he was fortunately accepted as the most mature student ever.

the spring of the school term arrived and the king was bundled off to school again for 3 months. the pork men was wondering how on middle earth, this old king can take a day in school. they were pleasantly surprised.

...

the king expecting nothing went for his first day of school.

he walked the fields of freshly flowered daffodils ... and behold and beyond ... there stood a gal of wonderous beauty (a 7.5-pointer).

she was also attending school in hogwarts as well, but in the fine arts class. she was only half the king's age.

in the king's eyes, her laughs and every single expression was a wonderful sight to behold.

once again the king's heart was filled with light ripples. a stirring that had not happened and forgotten for a long time.

...

JUSTIANA, his girlfriend then did a disappearing act in protest of his new found interest. (she later married a prince from Gondor and hopefully live happily ever after.)

...

a sharp pain was felt in the chest and the king was jolted out of his recalls. blood gushed out from his wound. an orc had just pieced a spear into the king's chest armour. the king couched lightly but painfully.

he didn't want to end it all this way but does he have a choice ...

:cry:

lizard

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  • 3 weeks later...

PAIN ...

you do not know pain if you have not sat by the high road to Zendi, the great god of middle earth, for 2 hours and can't find a reason why she behaved the way she did ...

you do not know pain if you have not felt the great numbness in your head and you just simply want to bang your head against the wall to soothe that numbness ...

you do not know pain if you have not felt the great stone resting on your chest, and you simply have to sigh to get rid of that feeling ...

you do not know pain if you have not tear-ed in the small hours of the night ...

you do not know pain if you have not closed your eyes and crossed the high roads where chariots rode, hoping that Zendi will claim you instantly ...

sigh ...

The king pulled out the spear and killed the attacking orc with a single swing of his sword. but, this injury has further weakened the mighty peasant king.

suddenly, a horn sounded. the orcs stopped their fightings and obediently parted themselves into two halves leaving the centre empty and wide.

a hugh black chariot appeared. Beamer, the fabled orc prince has arrived. his face was hideous with great disfigurement. his fangs were unusually large and his cat-like slit eyes were stained with yellow fluid.

the chariot stopped barely 50 m from the king's position.

the king struggled to regain his standing posture.

Beamer shouted in a booming voice, "the situation is hopeless. why don't you just give it all up?"

the king took a deep breath and replied, "NO! not when the last pork man still stand on defence."

"but, you must. i am in love with Beamer ... we are getting married in 3 year's time ..." just then a small figure in bright golden dress appeared from behind the chariot.

at last, the king got to see his little beautiful princess, Heidi, once again. her wonderous face was as gay as the morning sun can be. it is like a golden tulip bulb blossoming at the height of summer. her appearance has definitely renewed the king's strength.

the king stretched his left hand out trying to reach out to her, though she was still far away. the king asked curiously, "if you are in love and getting married, why, my dear, that you are now tearing?"

Heidi replied "No way will i fall for you. you are old and hideous and i am young. AND Beamer is rich."

the king asked again, "if Beamer is rich, then why are you not on chariot? why are you alone with no servants? further, the orc prince has many siblings that will challenge his claim to his heirloom. he may not be the future true orc king ..."

Heidi sobbed softly with a smallest of tears in her eyes replied, "i am in love with Beamer ..."

the king took a step closer towards the princess still with his out-reached left hand ...

suddenly, a white lightning striked the king's arm, severing it from his elbow socket. crimson fluid flew out of the king's body drawing his life force away ...

the king fell backward and faced up ...

a hugh looming black cloud appeared in front of the king. on closer examination, the cloud showed a whitish face - the face of the Queen Mother.

the queen mother shouted to the king, "YOU ... SHALL NOT ... PASS!!!"

"do you know what are you doing?" she said in an angry voice.

"do you not know what you have done to my daughter, she respected you so much and yet you took advantage of the situation ..."

"just look at you ... although you were once human, you now looked more like pig. you have flapping ears and a snouted nose ... you are far more hideous than Beamer ... how can you be worthy of my daughter's hand?"

little by little, the life force of the king is fading ... there is no more hope.

hope that once was is lost ... for now there is none to remember ...

...

just when all hopes faded. PIGLET, the soothe-sayer appeared in the niche of time ...

he conjured a mighty picture of lovely creatures swarming out to all of helm's deep ... giving hope to those who have lost hope ... giving peace to those who have lost peace ... giving life to those who have lost lives.

...

the king felt a great sense of relief ... he felt a soothing feeling creeping towards his left arm soothing it ...

good old PIGLET ...

once again, the king's thoughts returned to hogwarts where he first met the princess Heidi ... such wonderful power of PIGLET, the conjurer. indeed he has since mastered his skills well ...

BUT, was it enough to turn the table?

...

sigh ... such pain ...

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The war that Suga king encountering was failed. even with full hardworking of his entire arm forces. head of the air force weisoon reinforce minsmarine's the ants army was ambushed in the valley while patrick's goldfishes navy was clearing way to achieve breeding goldfish without water.

the simple reason was concluded after the war, the king trusted the enemy because the holes army was lead by a WOMAN.

Life is like a peice of Uncured Live Rock [ from LFS ], you never know what you gonna get.........

Ocean Gump

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