Joke?

[seahorse2]

A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and

pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing,

she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a

credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. Do you

need some help? I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the

battery to this remote door un-locker. Now I can't get into my car. Do

you think they (pointing to a distant convenient store) would have a

battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I

took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you

drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she

was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing

paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary

told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put

it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal

colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine.

The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the

copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth.

Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have

an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets.

We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. You

don't?" "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't

order a half-dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I

shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The paragraph above doesn't amaze me because of what happened a couple of

months ago. I was checking out at the local Foodland with just a few

items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I

picked up one of those "Dividers" that they keep by the cash register and

placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned

all of my items, she picked up the "Divider", looking it all over for the

bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code, she asked me "Do

you know how much this is?", and I said to her "I've changed my mind, I

don't think I'll buy that today. " She said "OK" and I paid her for the

things and left. She had no clue what had just happened.....

> CONCLUSION: Life is tough...... It's tougher if you're stupid.

[flubberina13]

[bwilly]

so u oki liao?

[flubberina13]

Can laugh liao...you say leh?

[bwilly]

Can laugh liao...you say leh?

could be seow..

[ai[k²]wan]

dont understand the last one.

[terryansimon]

you gone to NTU or Cold Storage where you put your food produce or stuff you want to buy on the "conveyor belt" thing? there is this...urh...sign or divider which can either say "NEXT PLEASE" or "COUNTER CLOSED". yah. that divider. (=

[hoppinghippos]

no lah, overseas they have different system than us, after you load your stuff on the conveyor belt, you take the divider thing and put behind all your stuff, then the next fella does teh same and so on. over here only some cashiers do that for you, most of the time you wait till the fella in front finishing liao got big space then start putting your stuff.

[terryansimon]

I do that here. that is to seperate my items from the person behind me. I don't wait till the cashier is free and for him/her to do it. by then, the other items from behind may have been mixed into my stockpile.

I'm weird I know. I stand on the right hand side of the escalator so as to give way to the people going up. but I don't know why the government wants us to stand on the left.

[KingFish]

I'm of the opinion that 'Ignorance is Bliss' ...

Terry, the keep left rule is much as the same as when you are driving, easier to relate, but too bad most Singaporeans are bad drivers.

Talking about stupidity, might we delve a little into common sense:

Do you think its common sense to make ONE (1) queue for 2 ATM machines?

[hoppinghippos]

terry: in UK traffic is keep right instead of our left hand so on escalators pple keep right too, and unlike us, they do it all the time.

rumour: yes 1 queue for 2 ATM machine is the most efficient system. cuz each person would then be offered the probability of 50% that they get to use either of the machines in the next few minutes. ie different pple use atm machines for different periods of time, if you have 2 queues, you have no choice, have to wait for all in front to finish, if the fella in front takes 1 hr, you bo bian. taking the fella currently at the machine as a probability of finishing his transaction in say 5 minutes, if 1 queue for 2 machines, you have more options now, you have a higher probability of getting to a machine faster since the probability of waiting 5mins is much less now since you have 2 pple at both machines.

[[P]owder Blue]

The jokes are real good!

[benny]

The bear and the atheist

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.

As he continued walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes. Turning to look, he saw a 7 foot grizzly charging towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. Looking over his shoulder he saw that the bear was closing in on him.

His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear raising his paw to take a swipe at him. At that instant the atheist cried out: "Oh my God!..."

Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. It was then that bright light shone upon the man and a voice came out of the sky saying: "You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"

The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps, could you make the BEAR a Christian?"

"Very well," said the voice.

The light went out. And the sounds of the forest resumed. And then the bear lowered his paw, bowed his head and spoke, "Lord, bless this food which I am about to receive and for which I am truly thankful."